I haven’t written in the past week because my daughter, Tegan, came home from the hospital this past Sunday. My husband and I have been what we consider pleasantly sleep deprived having Tegan home with us. Before she was born we had discussed that I would stay at home with her and Alix would be the bread winner. This was never something that I could have seen myself doing before Tegan. In fact before Alix I never even saw myself getting married. I think somewhere in all of my research about feminism I bought into the idea that women should be more than homemakers, or at least that I should be. When I graduated from my undergrad program this past May I was in my second trimester. Alix and I decided that I wouldn’t look for a job and would instead rest at home for the rest of the pregnancy. (Which turned out to be amazing. Between the fatigue and heartburn work would not have been fun).
Fast forward to this past week…Alix went back to work and for a portion of the day it was just Tegan and I. For those of you that have experience with newborns you know they don’t do much besides eat, poop, and sleep. So while Tegan slept I did some chores around the house and spent the rest of the day napping with her and Jasper (our cat). I’ve learned in the past nine months that there is no rule book to how to spend your days when you stay at home. There isn’t a checklist of duties and with a newborn there isn’t even that much chaos. Now one could argue that you could make a list of things to do, but I’ve also learned there is something nice about just relaxing as well. When asked what I do with my days I don’t have a lot to say except take care of my daughter. Which is the most important thing that I do with my day…take care of my daughter and enjoy my time with my husband when he gets off of work. This past week I’ve come to see that creating a safe and welcoming place for everyone in my family is a great job. I wouldn’t want anyone else watching Tegan and even though I used to be a workaholic I’d probably be miserable away from Tegan. A lot of people don’t get the opportunity to stay at home with their children so I’ve decided to take advantage of my situation.
This was really hard for me to admit…that I wanted to be a SAHM. I’ve been working multiple jobs since I was 16. The longest I ever went without a job was a month when I moved to New Mexico for college. Money to me was security and independence, and in some respects it still is. The thing is though I didn’t lose anything. I just joined a team. Alix and I are that team. We have different roles, but each play an extremely important role in the family. Without us working together there would be no family. I’m not ashamed to admit that my family is the most important thing to me. Nurturing my relationship with Alix and raising Tegan with him is amazing. I believe that Alix feels the same way about me. I was able to finish up writing this blog post thanks to Alix. He watches out for me and suggests I go to the coffee shop for some alone time before I realize I even need it. We also take the night in shifts. We may not sleep next to each other every night, but we each get some uninterrupted sleep which does wonders for everyone.
I’m sure as more time goes on I’ll create projects for myself and things to do. I still plan on applying for graduate school this upcoming fall. The point to this whole post was for me to delve a little into why I wanted to be a SAHM and what having my family means to me. I love my little family to pieces. My husband is my best friend and the love of my life. Tegan lights up my world every time I look at her. Jasper is the most adorable stoner cat there is. So there you have it my little family is wonderful to me and I’m happy to be a homemaker.